Stained the Vess
by Pete the Rock
Summary: A stain takes center stage as those on the Bebop try to find out who left it. Rated for language and suggestive adult themes.


_Disclaimer: No ownership of Cowboy Bebop. One-shot for Facebook group.  
Summary: A stain takes center stage as those on the Bebop try to find out who left it. Rated for language._

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_**Stained the Vess**_

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Space...the final frontier. These are the voyages of the- Wait...wrong script. Let's see... Aha! Found it! The Bebop, a vessel in space carrying the most inept crew possible: two bounty hunters, a retired officer, a teenage computer hacker and a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Not exactly your typical band of merry men. The Bebop drifted in space as Spike slumped on the sofa while watching the latest updates on the bounties throughout the galaxy. Of course, who else to present the updates than the Mexican Cowboy and the near exposed blond cowgirl in blue.

"Hey all you hunting hombres!" Punch greeted his viewers. "It's another mega-show of Big Shot!"

"We present the bounties for all to chase!" Judy cheered. Typical morning for Spike, smoking his cheap butt. "What's on the hot list today, Big Punch?"

"Oh, you want big? Feast your eyes on this! A bounty from Earth known as Big Chris Towlilski. He's wanted on many cases of embezzlement, treason and murder. Finding and turning him in will net you some_ BIG_ wulong! 45 million!" There's a lot of dough for this new bounty. Spike finished his cigarette before snuffing it in an ashtray. He pondered for a little while when someone crawled up from behind him. Acting like a bloodhound, Ed sniffed around Spike as she slowly crawled down the front. Wasn't that Ein's job? Ein was the dog, not Ed. She paused her descent while... think 69 for a moment. Ed's head was above Spike's groin while Spike practically had no choice but to stare between her legs, thankfully covered with her black biker shorts. This was one position Spike didn't want any part of, mainly due to her age.

"Where is it, Ein?" she asked the Corgi now finding its favorite companion on Spike. All Ein did was bark. Ed was completely clueless at the unfortunate position and comfort loss of Spike. He decided to let her know about her...and his positions.

"Hey, Ed," he tried to alert. "I'm a little too old for you." Ed was perplexed. Without thinking, she finished her climb down and sat like a dog. Spike wiped his face with dry hands, trying to wonder why Ed made him into a mountain. "Okay, Ed. What do you want?" It wasn't that the teenager wanted anything...

"Ein found a splashy stain around here." To Spike, this was one of her shenanigans to get attention. This Towlilski was much more interesting.

"Whatever." That attitude changed in the sound of Ein's barking.

"You found it! Good boy!" They found the stain Ed mentioned? Spike looked over to the dog and girl, suddenly noticing the tiny puddle of water. Getting off his lazy bottom, Spike strutted his way to the child and Corgi.

"It's water. No reason to get excited." Something about that water heightened Ed's curiosity. She dabbed a finger in the water and sniffed it. This water was strange. She pressed the wet finger to her thumb which felt rather adhesive.

"Water's always sticky?" The transparent liquid slowly caught the interest of the former syndicate member. Copying Ed, Spike dabbed a finger and pressed it to his thumb. Definitely, not water.

"Here I thought you watered Jet's bonsai trees again. It's not sap or whatever the hell those trees excrete." Something about this strange liquid fixed Ein toward a trail. Being so close to Ein, Ed believed the Corgi had an idea.

"Ein's picking up a scent!" On all fours, Ed pursued with a slow strutting Spike on their tails. Sprawled through the ground were more of the sticky fluid, something that began to disturb the slinky figure.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Someone heard Spike's mulling and it wasn't Ed.

"You say something?" answered...or questioned Jet. Spike pointed to the tinier two about what they discovered. "Is that...?" Spike wasn't too sure but didn't want to rush judgment. Ed did a headcount, noting one missing.

"Faye-Faye still in her room?" she asked. Jet hadn't heard of anything too out-of-place.

"I bet she is. Haven't heard a peep from these quarters for a while now." So the journey was destined for Faye's room. The fluid trail led them to this spot. Everyone stood by the door, trying to decide who would enter the room to check on their lone adult woman. There was one more tiny puddle of the sticky liquid in which Jet jumped on the bandwagon and sampled a scent of the fluid. Whatever it was, Jet wasn't the one who wanted inside. Ed knocked on the door.

"Faye-Faye! You wake-wake?" No response. Spike thought Faye departed somewhere.

"Are you sure you didn't see or hear anything?" he murmured to the former cop.

"Not at all." Not waiting any longer, Ed opened the door slightly and peered around it with a curious Spike urging a peek. There was Faye in a rather revealing set of undergarments. Her sleeping fatigue body expose as such left little to the imagination. Something else interesting was her underwear. They were soaked. This concluded something about what they were seeing.

"That explains a lot." The voice woke Faye from her...brief slumber. Eying the door ajar and finding Spike and Ed hanging around, she wondered what their business was.

"The hell do you two want?" she asked. Spike, somehow not impressed with that slender body, scorned the question.

"We're wondering when you're cleaning the mess you left." Not sure what Spike meant, Faye blinked until she glared at her wet panties. There was a man looking at her near nude body...and she wasn't one to actually show off so willingly.

"Get out!" she yelled as she fired a coffee table, striking Spike in the face. Ed ducked and Jet watched the scene unfold. The force of the throw knocked Spike on his seat, out cold with blood dripping from his nose. Now he's got a stain to clean up. After sometime to recover, Spike was sitting in the mess hall, his nose all bandaged up. Broken nose?

"Did she really have to bust my nose for simply looking?" he asked Jet while Ed was back in cyberspace.

"Some women can be pretty protective of their personal surroundings if they're surprised," Jet explained. "Hell hath no fury..." The idea sunk in as Ed removed her goggles from her eyes.

"Will that be Ed one day?" she asked. "Throwing junk at you?" That wasn't what the thoughts were about.

"Well, if your body is important..." It gave Ed a moment to think about how important her body was to her life. Meantime, Spike concluded about the stains and the trail Faye left.

"She was masturbating after returning from an errand around Earth for her to leave that mess," he theorized. "That fluid must have been when she climaxed and it dripped out of her shorts." A rather interesting thought.

"If what you're saying is correct, what could she be thinking about?" Why not ask her? It would be easy to do that, provided she doesn't hurl anything else out. "Although, you've done it yourself, haven't you?" The question froze Spike, shocked that the one-time cop would resort to interrogation about a personal item.

"Hell, no! Why would I do something as stupid as that?!"

"Not even as a teen? Wow, women were far from your enjoyment." The men argued while Ed looked clueless to the ordeal. All this adult talk burned out her brain and she passed out. Ein came to her side and tried to heal her but how? Faye may have stained the floor with some sort of fluid, Spike stained the floor with his blood and Ed's mind was stained with all of this grown-up talk. 2/3 can be cleaned up. Guess which ones.

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SEE YOU, SPACE COWBOY!


End file.
